A story from Marc Ruegemer, skills counselor with our Youth Day Treatment Program.
I have a story that gave me goosebumps as a skills counselor.
Recently, one of my colleagues, whom I trust deeply, asked if I thought we could play kickball together with two groups of our clients here at day treatment. My first thought was, there is no way this will work, but the respect I have for my coworker outweighed my common sense. To be clear, many a kickball game has been played here successfully. With this specific group, though, I was sure we did not even know which way to run. But I was “all in,” as they say.
Preparing for the Big Game
My colleague found some equipment, pumped up a ball, and coached his group on what was happening. Since one group was younger than the other, I prepared the youngest group by calling it a “mentoring activity,” words they understand, since they get to spend time with the “older” kids. I also explained that the younger kids would be mentoring the older clients, because “they are having a hard time lately following directions.” Was this true, or was I motivating the young ones to be leaders and giving the older kids no option to act out? You can be the judge.
I got the younger kids ready: bathroom, drink, sunscreen. Then I asked, “Raise your hand if you have ever played kickball before.” No hands went up. Nobody! I’m thinking, I knew this was a bad idea. But it was too late. The older kids started to gather, and before I knew it, all eyes were on me.
I greeted everyone: “This is a mentoring activity. Younger kids, you are mentoring the older kids on how to follow directions, and older kids, you are mentoring how to play kickball, as some people have never played before.”
We headed to a larger flat area, put down cones for bases, and split everyone into equal teams, picking the least coordinated clients first. (Remember getting picked last in grade school? I do, and that does not happen in our groups here at day treatment.)
There were a lot of afraid faces, but a couple of excited leaders too. My trusted colleague spoke in a very direct coaching voice, something he has experience with. He was amazing. He explained the rules in about two minutes, including which way to run, and we began, with me cringing because I know my group.
We have kids with active trauma, several unmedicated and very impulsive kids, and kids who have been bullied in team sports all their lives. I just knew this was going to be a big disaster. I was feeling anxious as my colleague pitched the first ball.
Then Something Remarkable Happened
Those students began teaching, cheering, and supporting each other beautifully. Some older kids got down to the younger kids’ level, coaching calmly. Staff were actively involved, and ALL the younger kids were mentoring how to listen. We played in the summer heat on that rock-hard field for four innings, and to a person, everyone had a great time.
How do I know? One, I was confident it would not work. Two, the afraid faces were gone, replaced with alert, joy-filled excitement. And three, something happened at the end of the game that has never happened before: nobody asked what the score was. We all completely enjoyed our time together.
We had some small bruises, a skinned knee, and that one student who was “never going to play” kicked in the first two runs of the game, because the negativity was simply ignored.
The goosebumps came as I walked off that field thinking: taking risks makes us stronger, patience is golden, and memories are real.
God bless,
Marc Ruegemer
